the consummation!

It was 31st december 1999---an untimely depression had swept across Kolkata,resulting into heavy rains since last two days...Park Street was not in its usual festive mood,as people remained confined to their homes ...North Kolkata was under knee-deep water-I couldn't go to college and spent the entire day listening to my favourite monsoon numbers of Tagore by Debabrata Biswas and Indrani Sen.Godhuligogoney Meghe Dhekechilo Tara was a special favourite of mine......Shubho called up in the morning and said he would come sometime in the afternoon.Maa had prepared Khichuri,alu-poster boraa and her celebrated chutney....Shubho was almost drenched when he reached home....his wet locks had fallen on his spotless forehead....his crimson kurta was all wet....he took it off and slipped into a t shirt of mine....this was the first time i caught a glimpse of his body....it was terribly masculine and tender as well---i wiped his head with a towel and combed his hair....Maa needed to go to the post office for some urgent work...it was partially dark outside....Shubho played Nikhil Banerjee's miyan ki malhar and reclined on my bed....I was tuning my tanpura when all of a sudden he caught me by my chin and kissed me on my right cheek....he had an intense look in his eyes like never before.we didn't utter a single word....he asked me to hum the malhar......he took off my t shirt and caressed my shoulders,pecked at my neck.....within seconds we lost ourselves into a trance.....i could only feel his breath as he kissed me deep on my lips and held me tight in his arms............I had surrendered myself to this man and there was no going back........I had lost my virginity finally!

woh shaam kuch ajeeb thi....

college life was fun!now i feel so idiotic as i reminisce those days when i used to become sentimental over petty issues with my pals(Priyanka,my friend perhaps would be able to give you a verbatim record of what an 'emotional fool' I was those days....)oh God!what a mess i had made once when i had to participate as the lead singer in a play directed by one of our professors Adhip Ghosh Dastidar..i had to wear a dhuti and punjabi for the occasion..and as i was about to embark on the stage the dhuti got stuck to a pin on the platform and the yell i did driven by embarrassment and fear of it being untied will remain etched in my memory...it was .was there my friends and teachers discovered my penchant for music...even the rowdiest of the common room guys had come up to me and congratulated me after my performance....and i became quite a popular name in the college.I was selected in some prestigious fests across Kolkata colleges to sing RabindraSangeet...
By now,Subho had become the most happening chapter of my life hitherto---i had never loved someone more intensely apart from my mother!he gave a new dimension to the concept of love which I had formed in my mind.....i wouldn't be dishonest saying i didn't have any lustful craving for him,but it was his company which i craved for......

Movie - choti choti batein

c a m a r e d e r I e...

Camarederie---yeah! this was something which i had an opportunity to be a part of and for the rest of my life i will continue to cherish those simple pleasures of life,those moments of jocundity and melancholy,all that which helped me grow as a person,from the naive mama's boy to a relatively mature and composed Kaustav of 2010.Speaking of camarederie,one name which stirs me even today and probably will,as long as my senses are not benumbed,is Shubho,my batchmate...it was a crudity of destiny that we are miles apart today,living in the same city,but Shubho and his memoirs keep fleeting when I go past Coffee House on a laid -back sultry afternoon,or happen to pass through the alleys of North Kolkata!Never before had i experienced such a compassion for a guy in my life...and candidly speaking,he was the person to make me feel my existence on this earth as an alternate human being --who eventually discovered himself to be a labyrinthe of contradictions;a criscross of perplexities!!

heard melodies...contd

St.Paul's College has been a witness to many of my FIRST-S in life~and of course LAST-S too! My first crush happened here,should i say crush? well....i would not be hyperbolic if i say it was one of the loveliest moments I had experienced in my life-i would not take her name here...she was exquisite,unique in her own way and most importantly,she was ''my type''! I was too shy to go and say ''i love you''....nothing of that sort happened,but it was an impulse which both of us could feel,and enjoyed.I remember she had played Sharatchandra's Kamallata in one of the plays at the college fest ...it was actually a collage of songs and dialogues mouthed by some of the celebrated lovers of literature~TIMELESS,IMMORTAL lovers...and i had the opportunity to sing some songs of Tagore for the play...RUP THEKE ARUPEY...the rehearsal sessions were really worth remembering for I used to wait for Kamallata at the corridors bunking my Political Science pass classes...

heard melodies are sweet...but those unheard are sweeter!

my college days were quite eventful-believe me,I could never think of mingling in a heterogenous group of people ,so very different from me in all respects...It just happened! i was quite apprehensive of whether I would be able to come out from the COSY SECLUDED WORLD of my shell.Studying 'English Honours' was my dream come true...i felt my hitherto unexplored and rusted creative potentiality would find an outlet now.I had the advantage of being an ex student of the college,so might be somewhere deep in my heart there was an air of pride or panache,if i can use the term. The memory of my first class in my undergraduate course is still afresh--Prof.Ajanta Paul,whom we used to call AP ma'am entered room GD, with the register at the farthest corner of the campus(Ajanta Ma'am will require an entire episode in my blog so,I am not going into the details right now;all that I can say is its because of her profound influence that i am jotting down these lines)When I attended her first class in class xi,I was literally in a reverie as she recited the lines -''I am the daughter of the Earth and Sky''...she had initiated me to Shelley(only meant to be learnt on a superficial level for a science student like me)and Keats and so tremendous was the impact that I couldn't afford to miss her in my honours class despite being selected in a so-called A-grade college of Kolkata...

...and now when she came to the honours class,I felt myself to be extremely blessed--she was taken aback to find me in that class and had said''tumi pure science er chatro chile na?'' I was really surprised to learn that she even remembered my name...

a new beginning(cond.)

It was really a heavenly dispensation that I didn't get a supplementary in mathematics,in my +2 exams!It was a regular nightmare which kept me prophecising that i had failed in maths.....I still remember the d-day when the results were declared....GOSH!!!!! I WAS TREMBLING,SWEATING,PALPITATING and what not.....Finally,as the list was put up, one of my batchmates,Chandan came and hugged me----''tu Maths me pass ho gaya...........'' the feeling must have been something close to delivering a baby(as I knew it courtesy internet)....now,the path was paved for my career in real sense of the term...