Kuch Khatta,Kuch Meetha.....(contd)

Following the success of Rituprabaha,the Rabindra Jayanti fiesta we were showered with accolades from all and sundry....I had sung 'Amolo Dhabolo Paaley Legechhe',the autumnal song of Tagore after watching Rituparno Ghosh's Utsab ( I was searching for the singer Srabani Sen who had done the playback)..Mr.Basant Rungta,the renowned industrialist had a penchant for art and culture....he held a rooftop adda and music session at  his Ballygunge Circular Road residence....Srijan had become a happening place where all top notch names from the cultural scene of Kolkata used to throng..it was here that i acted for the first time in a drama directed by Shiladitya..it was a Bertolt Brecht play....I remember the fun filled rehearsals where we sang,ate,drank and did what not!!!!!!!
The finals were over and the days were laden with ennui and satiety...I used to go for random interviews(it had almost become a passion)and feel elated when the interviewers would give me a call and say,''you are in our next round''....I got a job at Music World entertainment Ltd which had opened its retail outlet in the heart of Park Street....a part time job where I would have to interact with the merchandisers and interact with buyers of Indian Classical Music....I could hardly resist my temptation of meeting all the celebrity singers of our country.....I drew a salary of 2000/- half of which was exhausted in the metro fare....but still it was an enjoyable experience! my communication skills were honed,my confidence level was also elevated..and the apparently 'shy' Kaustav was quite extrovert by now.....
                                                    Coming back to Amala Dhabala Paaley....I visited all the music outlets of Kolkata to procure a cd of the artiste..but to my despair everyone said,''there's no one called Srabani Sen in the music industry''...i was kind of frustrated...because never before had a Tagore song touched the core of my heart as this song and the singer did...I was more inclined to Indian Classical Music and Nazrulgeeti so long,and always felt Rabindra Sangeet could only be sung with a  typical mannerism(with the jaws pressed).But Srabani Sen's rendition shattered all these notions.....after a lot of toil I found out who she was....she was the veteran Tagore exponent  Sumitra Sen's younger daughter and sibling of the prolific singer Indrani Sen.....Indrani Sen was my crush from  school days....I used to copy her style of singing,draw her pictures in my diary and remain affixed to the television set whenever she would feature....

Kuch Meetha,Kuch Khatta!!!

university life was not too happening in a nutshell from the perspective of relationships or camarederie...I had recoiled into a cocoon after all that melodrama and usually spent my off periods in the historic central library where the librarian used to unpack a red and yellow tiffin box and tear the rotis with an air of humility everyday around 1.30.Though I was not a ''book worm'' so to say,yet I drolled upon Dostoeivsky,Hardy and Indo-english fiction to a large extent.I initially basked in the glory of being  a  part of such an august institute which had a glorious past....i loitered in the corridors crossing the isle between the English and Mass Communication departments on the third floor.College Square lay just opposite to the university...most of the days,I lazily watched the crowd walking past the college street pavement in combo with the ting -tong of the tram cars... I remember gorging on the  syrupy 'jibhe gojas' and hot phulkopi shingaras served with two dollops of tomato sauce  at the untidy canteen.My awe and admiration for the lecturers of English literature suffered a grave setback when i had to endure some third grade bizarre lectures of otherwise''scholastic'' names like Dipendu Chakraborty and Tapati Gupta whom we lovingly called Ophelia....In my two years of stay at the university i hardly remember her utter anything original or striking about either Hamlet or Ophelia,except reframing the sentences which were already there in Ramji Laal's study guide books! Krishna Sen was the only exception who seemed to have mastered literature with an unbelievable panache....I could almost visualise the subterranean depths of the protagonist's psyche as she lectured on Conrad's Heart of Darkness......
.......Somehow by word of mouth some professors learnt about my musical acumen and was summoned in the staff room one day...after about 25 years Rabindra Jayanti would be celebrated in our department..it was now that i came to know some guys of my  class,Shiladitya,Sohini,Tanmoy,Amreeta Jhulan.....Shiladitya,proud of his baritone was too theatrical and kept boasting about his associations with Kaushik Sen,the theatre activist.Tanmoy seemed to be a good guy,not meddling with someone's affairs while Sohini was a diligent singer who effortlessly sang Bhanusingha Padabali songs....Jhulan however was my discovery! she was someone who would attract your attention amidst a huge crowd!her gait,her dress sense,her voice,her english captivated me(well,you must be thinking about my orientation.....frankly speaking,i had a crush on her..rest is how you interpret)She used to interact with me often during our rehersals at Shiladitya's place or Sunita's....thats how our friendship started...and touchwood she pays me a visit everytime she comes to India from the US where she is settled with her hubby Amitabha and two angels.

the mirror cracked!

The year 2000 was very eventful in many aspects----I topped my undergraduate exams with 57% marks....got myself admitted for my masters in Calcutta University...and lastly Shubho left me.............

                                 It was 2nd february if I am not mistaken---Shubho's birthday.I had ransacked almost every music store to buy a collector's item for him..after a lot of rejections I finally settled with Suchitra Mitra andAmjad Ali Khan's Gems from Tagore...I could see him right from the college entrance gate..he was in a check blue shirt and faded blue denim,looking erudite as always! As i ran upto him he came and embraced me with a peck on my cheeks..he was excited as he unwrapped the gift and shouted in joy....Before I could begin my next sentence,he yelled-''kaustav,i'm so happy today!!  I have something to share with you,only you''I kind of blushed and thought probably he would bend like an Elizabethan lover and say,''accept me dear''...but what followed was  something which altered my life altogether....
                              he was in love with a girl.....and never before had he ever told me that he was bisexual! I knew the girl,infact we all knew her..she was Oindrilla,an iuncumbent from Auxillium Convent who had quite successfully lured him with her intellectual pursuits....all that I didn't have---Kafka,Freud,Camus(remember my previous blog?)

          Anyways,I had made a complete mess of myself on that day with my sentimentalism,and realised how futile one's whims and fancies were! My castles were already built not in the air though,but they collapsed with one damn declaration....I needed a lap to hide myself and Priyanka was there as if echoing the lines...''Jibono Moroner Seemana Charaye,Bondhu Hey Amar Royecho Dnaraye ''.....i spent the entire evening at GD-282,salt lake reddening my eyes....

Shubho left Kolkata...after failing his exams....don't know what happened to his new love story!I was a stoic guy who only seem to know the bus route to Calcutta University....walking down Bidhan Sarani,Vivekananda Road to Maniktala.....

He came,he saw,he conquered!

Undergraduate course was in its full swing...One fine day,a young man fair,tall with expressive eyes stepped into our  class and asked us to recall English synonyms of the Bangla word Paati(ordinary)...We were at a loss as no one could exactly satisfy him with our versions of Paati....He shouted with an air of arrogance and rebuked us for being bad at vocabulary...ki porechho tomra English??ei obosthaa ekta undergraduate honours  class er? ami bolchi shono....and then came a flurry of synonyms---cliche,banal,trite,platitudinous...We were taken aback at his skill and command over English language...So finally there was someone who would serve as a foil to the boastful A.G.D whom we had christened The Proud Peacock of Saint.Paul's...Prof.Kaushik Sarbadhikari...ex-Ashutosh College,ex-Jadavpur University....1st class 2nd!!Priyanka,Shakuntala,Shubhosree were gaping as he went on lecturing in his regal English....though somewhat effeminate in his gait,there was an undying charm about this man which I would cherish as long as I live......The effect of his lectures was so redolent that very soon,we were lured into his tuition classes...and on a Tuesday evening,Sir accompanied us to his Hazra residence and 44/8A hazra Road,became our hot spot after college twice a week....who had imagined that this house would remain witness to so many eventful evenings ?Now,when I go past this house on Sundays on my way to Srabanidi's class,the memories haunt me and I kind of wait to catch a glimpse of the man leaning from his third floor balcony....But he would never do that....he can only peep from the sky !!

Yet Another Love Story.........

My love story might sound very filmy to you all....a college tale firstly,when love stories begin and end in the wink of an eye,and a forbidden love secondly----but believe me,It was no different from a Rekha-Amitabh Silsilaa...though rumours had spread in the college that two guys of the English deptt.are in love,but I somehow never felt uncomfortable ,rather basked in the glory of my new found love...My concentration in studies increased manifold,my creativity knew no bounds,and most importantly,I got a fresher  vivacity to reinvent my music!the riyaaz sessions were rigorous now,the drive to do something BIG was seen with a greater intensity like never before.....we would pay occasional visits to Gaganendra Pradarshanshala to catch up with an exhibition,or slip into Nandan bunking the nagging Political Science pass classes to watch the first day first show of Saving Private Ryan or Rituparno's Dahan....Shubho always insisted that I read Kafka,Camus,Freud for enriching my literary acumen....but I would droll over a Buddhadeb Guha or Sunil Ganguly inevitably!and there was a clash.....''tumi ki oshob bachhader boi poro...egulo na porle first class hobe na Kaustav''!!

the consummation!

It was 31st december 1999---an untimely depression had swept across Kolkata,resulting into heavy rains since last two days...Park Street was not in its usual festive mood,as people remained confined to their homes ...North Kolkata was under knee-deep water-I couldn't go to college and spent the entire day listening to my favourite monsoon numbers of Tagore by Debabrata Biswas and Indrani Sen.Godhuligogoney Meghe Dhekechilo Tara was a special favourite of mine......Shubho called up in the morning and said he would come sometime in the afternoon.Maa had prepared Khichuri,alu-poster boraa and her celebrated chutney....Shubho was almost drenched when he reached home....his wet locks had fallen on his spotless forehead....his crimson kurta was all wet....he took it off and slipped into a t shirt of mine....this was the first time i caught a glimpse of his body....it was terribly masculine and tender as well---i wiped his head with a towel and combed his hair....Maa needed to go to the post office for some urgent work...it was partially dark outside....Shubho played Nikhil Banerjee's miyan ki malhar and reclined on my bed....I was tuning my tanpura when all of a sudden he caught me by my chin and kissed me on my right cheek....he had an intense look in his eyes like never before.we didn't utter a single word....he asked me to hum the malhar......he took off my t shirt and caressed my shoulders,pecked at my neck.....within seconds we lost ourselves into a trance.....i could only feel his breath as he kissed me deep on my lips and held me tight in his arms............I had surrendered myself to this man and there was no going back........I had lost my virginity finally!

woh shaam kuch ajeeb thi....

college life was fun!now i feel so idiotic as i reminisce those days when i used to become sentimental over petty issues with my pals(Priyanka,my friend perhaps would be able to give you a verbatim record of what an 'emotional fool' I was those days....)oh God!what a mess i had made once when i had to participate as the lead singer in a play directed by one of our professors Adhip Ghosh Dastidar..i had to wear a dhuti and punjabi for the occasion..and as i was about to embark on the stage the dhuti got stuck to a pin on the platform and the yell i did driven by embarrassment and fear of it being untied will remain etched in my memory...it was .was there my friends and teachers discovered my penchant for music...even the rowdiest of the common room guys had come up to me and congratulated me after my performance....and i became quite a popular name in the college.I was selected in some prestigious fests across Kolkata colleges to sing RabindraSangeet...
By now,Subho had become the most happening chapter of my life hitherto---i had never loved someone more intensely apart from my mother!he gave a new dimension to the concept of love which I had formed in my mind.....i wouldn't be dishonest saying i didn't have any lustful craving for him,but it was his company which i craved for......